Four Years

Four years ago today, Steve and I moved into our first home together. It was two weeks after our wedding; we'd been home from Maui just long enough to pack up all our stuff before driving down to Tennessee and settling into an apartment. A lot can change in four years...a house and a kid later, here we are celebrating our fourth anniversary. We started something last year that I think will become a tradition of sorts: heading back to Ohio at the beginning of July and, instead of buying each other anniversary gifts, going out on an overnight date while the grandparents babysit.

I am endlessly grateful that God in His kindness has arranged for me to spend my life with this man. I never tire of telling the story of how the Lord brought us together. When we think of the countless ways in which we complement each other so exactly, we know it was ordained by Him.

Seldom does a day go by that I am not keenly aware of how very blessed I am. I often can't fathom how Steve puts up with me so patiently, but I'm thankful that he does. I don't deserve this gracious gift from God, but I'll continue praising Him for it, and praying that He will make our marriage a beautiful trophy of His grace--a blessing not just to the two of us, but for others to look at our relationship and see more of Him.

MMM: Pardoned and Blessed

Week 1 of Mega Memory Month is over...is anyone besides Sara joining me? How is it going? It's not too late to jump in!

Thanks to MMM, I'm lots closer to finishing my gospel memory project than I would otherwise be. The accountability has kept me on track despite being out of my normal routine, so that Thursday, Lord willing, I should be able to finish the poetic narrative from Milton Vincent's A Gospel Primer for Christians. I'll be honest, it's been really difficult to be diligent, and I haven't been able to spend the time really meditating and reflecting on the words like I need to. But that's the beauty of memorization--even if it is just rote learning now, it will be in my head and I can then steep in the truths for weeks/months/years to come.

Two lines have been coming to mind over and over ever since I worked on them on July 1--I can't get past them. Here they are in context:

At God's own right hand
Christ now reigns from on high
A Friend in high places
to sinners who cry
To Him for forgiveness,
their evils confessed.
He gives them a pardon
and then makes them blessed.

I can't stop thinking about that sentence: "He gives them a pardon and then makes them blessed." For God to have mercy on me, to cancel the death sentence I deserve and release me, would be an unimaginably precious gift. It could end there--He could grant me NOTHING else--and I would have to praise Him, to call Him incredibly merciful. But He didn't stop there. He doesn't simply give mercy. He opens the floodgates of grace!

Once I am pardoned, He then pours out glorious riches on me. As the song says:

[Pardon for sin AND...]
a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence
to cheer and to guide
Strength for today
and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine,
with ten thousand beside!

God richly provides me with countless temporary, earthly blessings--thousands upon thousands of gifts (both big and small) each day. And then, He generously grants blessings that will last forever--an inheritance in Heaven that will never perish, spoil or fade; most notably, a relationship with Him, the opportunity to enjoy and exult in Him eternally!

"He gives them a pardon"--for this I am eternally grateful. But that's not all!--"...and then makes them blessed." May He give us eyes to see the blessings He pours out each day, especially the blessings of the gospel, purchased by the death of His Son.

CSA Adventure: Week 8

So, um...the soapwort is still sitting on my kitchen table. Oops.

We did, however, put a lot of the zucchini to good use with zucchini sticks (dipped in egg and battered with Italian breadcrumbs + Parmesan, drizzled with olive oil and baked, served with marinara sauce) and yummy, healthy muffins--both recipes I'll revisit.

This week is one of two weeks we get a huge box of hamburgers instead of the usual two pounds of ground beef. I had to empty my entire freezer and reorganize everything to fit 10 lbs of hamburgers in there. Oy. It needed to be done, anyway...Maybe one of these days we'll get a separate freezer for the basement. Problem is, in order to get a freezer, we need a generator, and if we're going to get a generator, we need to buy a bunch of gas to have on hand...and then it starts to sound like "If you give a mouse a cookie..."

Anyway...I digress. This week's bounty:

• two Eight Ball zucchini (these still fascinate me--I need to take a picture)
• one regular zucchini
• two small yellow squash
• green beans
• candy cane mint
• hot peppers
• six farm fresh eggs
• 30 grass-fed beef hamburger patties

Thankful Thursday, Take 122

Thanking God this week for...

• my incredible husband, who committed his life to me four years ago today ♥
• the challenge, accountability and fellowship of Mega Memory Month
• my brain's ability to retain vast quantities of information and truth
• A Gospel Primer for Christians
• last weekend's wonderful visit with the Drees family
• homemade jiao zi
• games of ma jiang
• the fun of celebrating and learning about another culture
• Tuesday swimming playdates
• pizza one of the other mamas generously bought on Tuesday
• silly, long-standing inside jokes with my mom
• Steve's kind and encouraging words
• low humidity and cooler temperatures
• pardon for sin
• a peace with God that endures forever
• God's own presence with me always, to cheer and to guide
• the strength He provides for today
• the hope He provides for tomorrow
• ten thousand blessings besides these
• His perfect, endless faithfulness

Mega Memory Month Kickoff: More Gospel!

Ann and I were on the same wavelength, it seems, just a couple of weeks apart: thinking that summer was a great time for a mega memory project. Back in January, memorizing the gospel narrative from Milton Vincent's A Gospel Primer for Christians was such a wonderful discipline for me. It was so beneficial, in fact, that a couple of weeks ago, I decided to revisit the book. I've been working on the poetic narrative for a little while now and have found it to be just as compelling. How beautiful it is to saturate my mind with truths about the character of God and the finished work of Christ!

To be honest, my first thought upon hearing Ann's announcement was, "Oh no! July isn't a good time for this! I can't start a new project; I'm smack in the middle of one, plus I'm going on vacation!" But the reality is, vacation is a perfect time for me to have accountability for a discipline like this. When I'm away from home and out of my normal routine, it's far too easy to let my time with the Lord slide, so I'm glad for Mega Memory Month to keep me on track while we're gone!

I also realized there was no reason I couldn't combine two different projects in one month. Since I'm just over halfway finished with memorizing the poetic gospel narrative, I plan to run one "mega" project into another, shifting gears--well, sort of--mid-month. Using my memorization method, I'm on track to finish the poetry on July 9. Once that's completed, I'll switch to memorizing actual Scripture, except it will still be gospel: the glorious promises of Romans 5. The gospel is the MAIN THING--I can't think of anything else I need to memorize more!

My goal is to spend the rest of July committing Romans 5 to memory and making sure chapters 6-7 are solid. I did Romans 8 quite a while ago (it was my first "mega" memory project) and worked on Romans 6-7 last winter, so by the end of the month, Lord willing, I'll be able to go straight through chapters 5-8.

I find that for me, memorization comes easily with a great method. No credit to me, just the way God made my brain. But the hard part is the follow-through. If I stick with it for 100 days, like my method demands, it's cemented in my brain--that's how I still have Romans 8 after almost three years, and how the prose gospel narrative is still well in hand six months later.

But unfortunately, I've fizzled on plenty of other memory projects I once knew well. That's why I want to spend this MMM not only adding new Romans material, but intentionally reviewing what I've already done. No sense losing what I worked hard to obtain, when it's so much easier to retain than learn in the first place! And I need ways to practice taking every thought captive--filling my mind with memory work is really helpful for that.

So that's my plan for Mega Memory Month. Who's with me? What are you working on? I hope you'll take a risk and memorize something challenging for you, however big or small--and that you'll find encouragement as we work together and sharpen each other, here and at Ann's blog as the hub for our carnival.

Mega Memory Month Returns

Just in time to challenge us to battle the lazy days of summer: Ann Kroeker has announced the return of Mega Memory Month! She suggests:

As we head into the dog days of summer, why not give our minds something to chew on?

Whether you're a veteran memorizer or have never worked on a memory project, why not join us during the month of July? I've experienced countless benefits to hiding God's Word in my heart, and I found January's MMM to be extremely helpful and encouraging. There's just something about public accountability and fellowship with other people who are working on memorization that gives me extra motivation to kick it in gear!

I just found out about MMM earlier this afternoon, so I haven't yet decided what I'm going to work on--I'll announce tomorrow. In the meantime, I wanted to pass the word along and invite you to join in. Ann's instructions:

Pick something to memorize. Try memorizing something long. Something formidable. Something mega. (challenge yourself relative to what you’ve tackled in the past.) It could be poetry, a famous speech, or a passage of Scripture.

Announce it on your blog or in the comments of this post whenever you like. If you find out about MMM late or forget about it until halfway through the month, no problem. Jump in and do what you can in the time that remains.

You're also invited to leave a link at her blog and use the button (above) to display your participation in this blog carnival.

If you're new to memorizing, don't be intimidated--just start small. I know you'll be glad you participated, even if you just pick a couple of verses to work on. As Ann reminds us:

Nobody is judging how well we complete this month-long memory project—it simply provides public accountability. Don’t let the word “mega” discourage you from participating. Participate even if your selection is modest. In fact, my own might be pretty puny compared to those of some mega-memorizers. The bottom line is that we will be better for it. So jump in and join the carnival, whether you chip away at something short or long. ...Let’s take a risk. Stretch ourselves. ...Our minds can hold more than we think they can.

Won't you join me for Mega Memory Month?

CSA Adventure: Weeks 6 and 7

Last week was a little crazy and I got behind on CSA posting...just as well, now I can start posting *in* the actual week (I was a few days off before--we get shares on Thursdays, so yesterday we received week 7's share).


I really need to work on actually taking care of things Thursday night. I've been terrible about just leaving our stuff--especially the herbs--on the kitchen table for a day or two, and that is bad news. I had to throw out all the garlic chives we got last week, except for a few that we put on our baked potatoes that night, because I left them sit out and there was moisture in the bag, so they got slimy and gross.


On the other hand, I feel so gourmet when I cook with fresh herbs! At the beginning, I didn't know what to do with them, really, but I'm getting into it more now--to the point that this week, I actually requested more fresh thyme because I have a use for it. I also love using fresh basil, and we got a mess of it this week. Yay for bruschetta pizza on the menu tomorrow night.


This week's share included soapwort, an herb/flower not to be taken internally, but which contains saponins--natural cleaners. Our newsletter included a recipe for homemade cleaner or shampoo, so I'll have to do some experimenting.


Last week's bounty:

• three small yellow squash
• an "Eight Ball Zucchini"--an heirloom variety of zucchini shaped like a small pumpkin--very strange looking!
• peppermint (which I meant to use for mojitos, and never got around to before it got all brown and dry :(
• garlic chives
• four small hot peppers
• six farm-fresh eggs
• two pounds grass-fed ground beef

This week's bounty:

• one small yellow squash
• a regular zucchini and another Eight Ball zucchini
• four white radishes (oh joy...supposed to be milder than the red variety, though)
• sweet basil, purple basil and Genovese basil
• a bunch of fresh thyme (by request--waaaay more than I needed)
• soapwort
• six farm-fresh eggs
• beef short ribs

Thankful Thursday, Take 121

Thanking God this week for...

• intellectually stimulating conversations with my hubby
• free (well, other than S&H) CDs headed my way in the mail
• our stroller
• the way Elijah has started saying "wuh, wuh" and pulling the stroller out when I ask if he wants to go for a walk
• podcasts
• audiobooks
• the free trial at Audible.com for This American Life listeners
• fresh herbs
• new (to me) fonts for free on our computer
• sending His Son to absorb all the wrath I deserve
• promising to complete the good work He began in me
• guaranteeing for me an eternal inheritance of immeasurable riches

Thankful Thursday, Take 120

After a wonderful, encouraging, powerful, gospel-centered prayer meeting at church last night, my heart is full of gratitude--praising God for so many things, including...

• the power of the gospel
• the gift of conviction
• abundant mercy for sinners
• the beauty of lightning against a night sky
• the power of God who creates and calms storms
• lightning bugs
• Steve's unexpected day off last Friday, resulting in a family trip to the zoo
• giraffes and elephants
• a fabulous chocolate-and-vanilla-twist ice cream cone at the zoo--just the right kind of ice cream
• the gospel-centered messages we heard in Sunday school and church last Sunday
• the fact that Elijah did well in the nursery and I actually got to hear them live
• grace to get up early in the morning this week and be alert
• grace to work out every day
• a playdate with new friends on Tuesday
• hobby time with a friend on Wednesday
• this CD, which I blasted in the car after last night's awesome prayer time
• Laura, who shared her heart so eloquently with me
• Kristin, who isn't afraid to ask hard questions
• the fact that I could continue listing blessings endlessly...

CSA Adventure: Week 5

I like the *idea* of no pesticides on my food. However, I do not like pests on my food.

Lesson of the week from our CSA: organic broccoli fresh from your farmer's garden has to be washed differently (much more carefully) than broccoli from the grocery store. Otherwise you may inadvertently eat a worm.

EW.

Did I mention, EW?!?!?

Last night we decided to have "rabbit food" (cut up vegetables--I should refer to it as "crudités"--that sounds so much more refined) with our chicken, corn and tomato salad pitas (new recipe--definitely a hit). Steve cut up the vegetables: red bell pepper, carrots, and some broccoli we got in this week's CSA share. The first "ew!" was the strange looking bug mysteriously crawling on our counter after Steve was finished. When I yelled and pointed it out, he said it was probably from the broccoli since that had come fresh from the garden.

We sat down to eat and as I went to pick up a piece of broccoli, I was horrified to notice a green worm nicely camouflaged against the green stalk. EW. Steve kindly picked it off for me, and I inspected it warily before putting it in my mouth--only to find another tiny green bug. EW.

A few moments later I picked up another piece of broccoli and was greeted by ANOTHER worm. WORMS. ON MY DINING ROOM TABLE. In food I am just milliseconds from putting IN MY MOUTH.

EW.

I dropped the broccoli on the table, horrified, and Steve took the bowl of vegetables back into the kitchen for a more careful de-worming. I think it's probably very, very good that I didn't see how many more worms he picked off the broccoli. *shudder* He actually had to pick them off--they don't just rinse off. And because he had eaten a couple of pieces of broccoli before my worm drama, it's entirely possible he ate a worm or two. I mean, do you realize how many nooks and crannies broccoli has in which worms can hide? EW.

Broccoli used to be one of my favorite vegetables. But either broccoli washing is going to be Steve's job the rest of the summer, or we are going to have to find a way to wash it or soak it in something that does not require physical removal of worms. I don't do worms.

I don't want pesticides on my food. That's one of the many reasons we joined an organic CSA. But at least the pesticides are invisible, and not squirming. EW.

This week's bounty:

• lettuce
• one head of garlic
• three small zucchini
• one head of worms broccoli
• oregano
• six farm fresh eggs
• two pounds grass-fed ground beef

How Guilt is Satisfied

Have you felt guilty this week?

How many things haven't gotten crossed off your to-do list? How many times have you snapped at your spouse or your children or your co-workers? How much have you prayed? Read the Word? How have you served people in need?

Are you feeling guilty yet?

The sermon I heard on Sunday could have induced guilt. In it, our pastor talked about the fact that although we cannot offer any sacrifice to make ourselves acceptable to God, once we are God's children, we can offer sacrifices that are pleasing to Him. Such sacrifices don't merit His approval or make us righteous, but they do demonstrate that we already *are* righteous in Christ, and they bring God pleasure.

Hebrews 13:15 calls us to offer sacrifices of praise, and the pastor challenged us to have praises and nourishing words flowing from our lips, rather than complaints and grumbling and corrupt talk. Ouch--that's convicting.

Hebrews 13:16 instructs us to do good deeds, to share with others. Am I exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit, preferring others above myself, caring for the poor, using my abundance to bless others who are less fortunate? Ouch again.

But then the pastor said something stunningly beautiful. "Feeling guilty?" he asked. "Your guilt isn't satisfied in doing better. It's cleansed at the cross."

I was so thankful for that powerful reminder. How quick I am to forsake the gospel and revert back to legalism! Convicted of my sins of omission and commission, my first thought is that I need to change, to stop doing these things and start doing those things. I need to try harder, need to get my act together.

The truth is, I can't. I can't perform well enough to assuage my guilt. I can only run to the cross. I can only depend on the Spirit to work His transforming power in me.

At the end of the sermon, the pastor again said, "Don't focus on 'How do I do the works?' but on 'How can I find more joy in the gospel?' Then these things will flow out of your joy in the gospel." Yes! There's no power in creating a longer, more intensive to-do list for myself. The power is found in Jesus. Rather than looking for ways to do better, strive harder, I need to fix my eyes on Jesus. I need to seek to be filled and satisfied in Him--and as my joy in Him increases, it will overflow in the form of the praises and good deeds that please Him.

Feeling guilty? The solution isn't to try harder and earn a clear conscience. The solution is the glorious gospel of grace: Christ's death in our place, His righteousness on our behalf, His resurrection guaranteeing ours. Take your guilt to the cross.

Thankful Thursday, Take 119

Thanking God this week (and last week, since I didn't post) for...

• safe travels home and back, with an incredibly easygoing and content toddler (that fact *still* amazes me)
• all the amazing women, friends and family, He has placed in my life
• getting to spend time with several of them in person
• doting grandparents to care for my son and give me a little break
• the incredible husband I came home to
• a late night with a friend this week
• good books
• exercise
• rhubarb
• toddler giggles
• gospel-centered sermons
• the gift of prayer
• A Gospel Primer for Christians
• crushing His Son for my sins and bringing me peace through His punishment

Who Needs a DVD Player?

...when you've got a handyman husband?

As I thought about taking a road trip with Elijah, my biggest fear was his boredom. The last couple of times all three of us have made the trip home, Elijah has done really well--but that's with either Steve or me sitting in the backseat with him for about a third of the trip. Obviously by myself I wouldn't be able to keep him company back there--and he mostly just gets cranky in the car when he's bored, I think.

I knew I could pack lots of snacks and would have to plan to stop more often and for longer periods of time. But I also planned to keep a big crate in the front seat full of toys and books to hand to him. We figured that new toys might hold his attention longer, and Steve volunteered to make some. Yes, make.

Elijah really enjoys objects with moving parts--things that open and close, like a flip cell phone, a glasses case, or the clasp of a watch (can you tell his daddy is an engineer?). So Steve spent a morning downstairs in his workshop and came up with these:

The one on the left (he also made an identical one with five segments instead of three) pivots at each joint. The one on the right is sort of hard to explain from still pictures, but it folds open into something that looks like a ladder, or folds completely flat to look like this:

Scrap wood leftover from projects: free
Table saw, drill press, and other tools used: [let's not even try to add up how much those cost]
Keeping Elijah entertained in the car, and thus keeping Mama sane: priceless.

Husband of the Year

I am unspeakably blessed to have a husband whom I enjoy being with and hate to be separated from. As we said goodbye last Tuesday before my road trip, I remarked how glad I am that spending several days apart is something we dread, not look forward to with relief. The reunions are sweet, and no matter how much fun I have when I'm away, I'm always anxious to get home to my man.

When we arrived home Saturday night, I was greeted by this amazing sight. Not the flowers--although they are a sweet and thoughtful gesture. The table. Isn't it beautiful? When I left home, it looked like the chairs: unfinished. We got the set at a great price from Unfinished Furniture, knowing Steve could stain and varnish it himself. That was three years ago :)

I had NO idea Steve was planning to work on this while we were gone. He had another project he had said he'd be working on (running HVAC ductwork upstairs to the guest room, via holes in the kitchen--which he also finished). I thought it was strange when we talked on the phone and he refused to tell me what he was working on. But I certainly never expected this!

Add to that the maple nut streusel coffee cake he baked from scratch for breakfast on Sunday morning (he cooks every Sunday morning--but not always that fancy) and the fact that he let me sleep in while he put together the roast for lunch...and I am feeling like one spoiled rotten wife. Have I ever mentioned that I adore this man?

CSA Adventure: Week 4

Elijah and I were out of town all last week--hence the lack of blog posting--and I haven't had much time to think about the fresh produce we received from our CSA on Thursday. Lots of useful, yummy stuff, though. I need to get back into the meal-planning groove!

On another note, yesterday for lunch we enjoyed the chuck roast we received a week or two ago, and tried the recipe with ingredients provided in our share. It was just a little spicy and really good for something different (we usually use the same beloved roast recipe every time). I'm looking forward to using the leftovers for cheesesteak subs--hoping to make some good buns with my artisan bread recipe.

This week's bounty:

• fresh herbs: basil (yay!) and what I *think* is dill
• three heads of garlic
• an onion
• snow peas
• lettuce
• a bouquet of lavender
• 2 pounds grass-fed ground beef
• 6 farm-fresh eggs