I often feel so overwhelmed by all the good things I could or should be doing. Just last night, Steve was remarking about all the things he'd love to learn to do, if only he had time. I can totally relate. I want to learn to make homemade bread, start playing the piano again, develop photography skills, read more great books... Even just in my time with the Lord, there are SO very many people and situations to pray for. If I spent all my quiet time in prayer, it still wouldn't cover them all--and then I wouldn't have any time in the Word.
And yet I can hardly complain of "not enough time" when I waste so many precious minutes in front of the computer. I must confess that I have made this keyboard and screen my refuge. I come here to escape from motherhood, from household chores. I feel compelled to check in again and again, all through the day and into the evening, peppering my day with blogs and emails and Facebook and message boards and informative articles.
What if my day was seasoned by Him instead? What if I kept coming back every spare minute to check in with Him, read a bit of Scripture, offer a prayer, sing praises? I mean, true confessions, this is how ridiculous it is: If I have to microwave a mug of hot chocolate for two minutes, I pop around the corner to the computer (less than 10 feet away) and check my email. HELLO, addicted much? What if I stood in the kitchen and spent that two-minute wait praying, or reciting a passage of Scripture I've memorized? What if I stayed fully engaged in mothering and cooking and cleaning, offering these small tasks to the Lord as my spiritual acts of worship? What if I found refuge in Him?
"In saving me, God also freed me from slavery to any and all sins. I no longer have to sin again, for sin's mastery over me has been broken." (Milton Vincent, "A Gospel Narrative: Prose Version" from A Gospel Primer for Christians)
Today I am clinging to the grace to LIVE in light of this truth. My prayer today is that He would convict my heart, that I would truly understand how I am sinning by spending so much time at the computer. For so long I have minimized it as "a distraction" or "better than X, Y or Z" or "no big deal, everyone does it." I don't want to succumb to these flimsy excuses for my sin. I want to see it as it is: ugly.
Then I pray that God will draw me to Himself. May He enable me, and each of you, to taste and see His goodness, His beauty, so compellingly that time on the internet loses its magnetic appeal. May He fill us and satisfy us with more of Himself.
How thankful I am that because of the cross, I am a new creature--He has already transformed me, and so I can have hope that change and growth will come, that today can be different. How thankful I am for His mercy, His patience, the riches of His grace.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
5 comments:
Amy,
I can sooooo relate to your struggle in this area. I too am convicted of my urge to get on the computer through out the day. I agree it is a sin issue. I justify my time by thinking the computer is being used in my life as a tool in my spiritual growth. ie. MMM, love challenge, lots of encouraging articles that spur me on,etc... which are all good things, but not the BEST thing I should be doing at times. I just heard a sermon by Paul Washer yesterday where he said God's will should never conflict with one area of our lives to another, in other words, if it is God's will for me to have a blog, it will not cause me to slack in my responsibilities as a wife and mother. HMMMN, So if it does.... then it is not God's will for me to have a blog in this season of life. Something I need to pray about. I keep thinking I need to set boundries on my time...for example , only check my blog for comments/emails once a day, and write on my blog once a week???? Although, I introduced the Love Challenge this month which will require more posting due to each word in Cor. that I want to look at???? Do you feel the tension. It is a struggle and my desire is to please God in all things... We must be good steward of the time God has given us, using it according to His will, which could look different in both of our lives. Let's pray God gives us wisdom in this area!! Thanks for your post!
In Him,
Dea
Great post, Amy, and can relate. Yesterday I noticed this trend especially. I find in winter months I'm especially tempted in this area as far as the computer is concerned. The internet is a great tool, it just can't become an idol.
And I too, would like to master homemade bread! :)
Thank you. Not only did your words help bring correction, but also perspective.
I do struggle with this a times=too many times - sigh- do learn to make bread- it is so nice to do and fun and not a lot of work- and I think they even have lessons on the internet-LOL
if I was there I would teach- by making you follow me with each of us making the bread- etc and then we would each have a loaf- taught some friends this- watching some one does not help as much the hands on- hugs from Meme
Great post, Amy, and, judging by my thoughts and the comments you've already received, a fairly universal struggle for those of us who love words, communicating truths, and so on.
I'm actually trying to make a point of going to the computer less, of turning it OFF after checking my inbox in the morning, and then not turning it on until the bulk of our school work is done. Notice that I said trying. It's a daily challenge for me.
Dancebythelight said it, too, that in the winter it is a lifeline for me. I tend toward retreating, cocooning in the winter, pulling myself into myself and using my family/homeschool, etc. as my excuse. But then I don't make family/homeschool, etc., the priority with my time.
The Holy Spirit convicts of sin and gives strength to turn from it. I'm counting on it in this area and am thankful that there are other women who understand (not that I'm thankful that they struggle with this, though [grin]) and challenge me to be a woman of integrity in this area too.
Thanks for a thoughtful, thought provoking post.
Jennifer
Post a Comment